Why I Started: {The Ugly}

The scale has been bouncing around for 5 years. I mark that the problem started after I got married on July 19, 2008. I weighed 153 on my wedding day..not in shape. At that time, I thought that was pretty good. (FYI: I'm 5'8") I began my second year of teaching, coaching softball (spring) coaching volleyball (fall), umpiring softball, etc.  The thing is that I would gain some weight (5-10 pounds or so?) especially during my coaching seasons. There was a lot of eating out and a lot of running through McDonald's because I just didn't have time to do anything else. (Or at least that's what I thought.) I tried to fix the problem.I started to cook meals for my family. I focused on dinner only. I tried to make a dinner for each night. I made dinners that my husband would like (you know, man food).  Looking back, that type of food and the portion sizes made me fat. I was just trying to be a good wife. I joined the Topeka YMCA in Fall of 2011. I went from 166 to 160. That's almost back down to wedding weight. The winter is also a gain season for me (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas). I got up to 174 in the Winter of 2011-12. In Spring of 2012, thanks to some friends, I started running.

Now, let me explain something important. I identify myself as an athlete. I've played softball and basketball my entire life. I have a lot of experience with running sprints, lifting weights, and doing sport-specific workouts.  I played softball in college and it was no joke. I was fit. I was in the 140s and 150s. So, when I got a job and started teaching, I stopped working out. That's fine. I still felt pretty cute. I didn't think I could handle working out on my own without a coach or a team to hold me accountable or tell me what to do. Plus, I was completely overwhelmed with coaching, and just I was happy with how I looked in wedding pictures, so for the past 5 years, I've had it in my head that if I can keep close to 153 I'm good.

Anyway, I started running as another solution to my weight problem, and it was a whole new challenge. I've never been a runner. Even when I was fit in college, I was the slow kid.  The second-to-last one on our 1.7 mile runs (shout out, Neosho County & Pitt State!). I was running 30 minutes on the week nights. Spring of 2012 had some BEAUTIFUL weather. I was totally inspired by Lindsey, Jolie, and Jenny who have both run a half marathon and Candice and Elexis who have run a marathon and Amy who runs to keep in shape and for FUN! We started a group on Facebook and communicated about our runs and set up running dates.  We signed up for the Color Run that was coming to Kansas City in June (if I remember correctly). So, starting March 1, 2012, I was running 5 days a week.  Then, I started to realize I could do it and I started to run "long runs" on the weekend. I never thought I could run for 3 miles without stopping. However, with the motivation of running with friends (and their patience for they were running with a turtle) I was able to longer and longer. It got to where I was running up to 10 miles at a time. Note: I weighed 164. I was on track to run a half marathon in the Fall of 2012. However, Lindsey's foot was injured and Candice got pregnant. I was really struggling to keep up my training because I was coaching volleyball. It fell apart.

My sister got married on September 8, 2012 and I looked fat. Not fun.  Those pictures will follow me forever. I weighed 169 on that day. If you look closely, you can see how big my legs are. But I really liked my dress; it was pretty. {The Other Sister reference}

That's me. At 169. With a girdle on.

The details are fuzzy, but Christmas was the clear turning point. I was 175. I did a great job of NOT eating a lot of chocolate and fattening food. I restricted myself a lot. The thought of seeing 180 on a scale scared the shit out of me. This is not the identity that I'm used to.  Christa, my sister, has struggled with weight also. She looked great at her wedding and she still looked great. I was realizing how fat I was. She was talking about starting to train for a WBFF bikini modeling competition. WHAT?! Yeah right. I'll admit it; I was skeptical that she was really going to do that. The competition is in May. I didn't think she had it in her.  That's a long damn time to diet. Our grandmother got her a big kit that was intended for holding an entire day's worth of food in one carrying case--like a caboodle.  That kind of took me aback. Whoa. You could pack your meals to have with you at all times? In the car? At work? That's interesting.  Note: Christa has totally proved me wrong and is amazingly fit right now. Follow her blog on Facebook {Fitloft Lift Life Style}. She's my rock star.

Christmas ended. Everyone went home. I was shoving myself into clothes. I was changing where my husband couldn't see me.  I starved myself the entire Christmas break and I was still 175. My sister was on her way to SkinnyTown.  WHAT WAS I DOING?!?  I am 28. You are supposed to look and feel hot in your 20s. I hadn't felt hot since I was 23.  I was done. I was clear that I didn't have what it took to turn this around. I didn't just need to lose 10 pounds. I needed to lose 25.

That's when I saw this tweet on Twitter:

Side Note: This is celebrity personal trainer, Jackie Warner. I watched her Bravo TV show called WorkOut. I think it aired in 2005-2006.

That link led me to FitOrbit. After looking at the site for 5 minutes, I bought 24 weeks (6 months) of online personal training for $11 per week. CREDIT CARD {sigh}. This is perfect for me for two reasons. I need someone to tell me what to eat. Do the thinking for me. Take choice out of the equation. Think about it: If someone told you, "If you eat this, you will reach your goal," would you follow the meal plan? The answer for me was YES! The second reason this works for me is because I know how to work out. I don't need a trainer there to tell me how to do proper form. I've also done many of the standard exercises before. So, I could take instructions (sets & reps) and do it on my own. Perfection. Oh, and the meal plans generate a grocery list for the entire week. I began FitOrbit on Tuesday, January 1 and stayed with it for 18 weeks. I lost 33 pounds.

I had to ask my husband, Colby, for one thing. I needed him to be on his own for all meals. I knew I needed to cook and pack my meals the night before for the entire next day. This was all new for me. I knew I couldn't do everything. I needed to focus on my nutritional goals and he needed to feed himself (and my stepdaughter, Alex).  He was all in. I think he actually liked going back to eating Chunky soups and a sandwich instead of the meals I was trying to get the entire family to eat.  I thought I was asking a lot, however he just did his own thing and it was totally fine.  Real talk: Ladies, if you need to do what I did, you can't do it while worrying if your husband and/or young children will eat what you eat. Daddy needs to step up and take care of the kids' food while Mommy takes care of herself for a few months. Worth it for everyone involved.

It was game on from that point forward. My FitOrbit plan became a huge priority. I never missed a workout. I looked at my schedule. Busy the next night? Work out in the morning. Tired now and busy the next night? Work out in the weight room at work during my break. Unable to get to a gym? Swap days inside my weekly plan and do my abs or core work out on my living room floor. Priority. Set it.

To loop back to the purpose of this blog: HERE'S TO NEVER HAVING TO START OVER AGAIN!!!